1 Nephi Chapter 1

I believe that my parents were, indeed, good parents. While that is slightly different than "goodly", the words are related. "Goodly" deals more with the impressions of someone, and I believe that my parents did not always make a good impression on the world.

Though at times they lacked the knowledge of how to best prepare us for our futures, they always loved us. I wasn't taught a lot at home. We were not the type of family to have deep discussions or study the bible together, but again, we loved each other. As far as I was concerned, I had goodly parents.

I certainly saw much affliction in my days. Times were hard, and growing up in the rougher part of town gave me a unique aspect on my situation. If I failed in life, many people would "understand" because of the circumstances of which I was given. I grew up around gangs, drugs, violence, and all sorts of police activity. I've witnessed SWAT team drug busts, and was actually subpeonaed to court to testify about a murder in my neighborhood. Fear was a part of my daily life, but the Lord must have found favor with me, because through it all, I always felt that He was there. I always felt as though he was watching me. I always felt that gravitational tug on my spirit. I wanted to know my Maker.

As I create this blog, I intend to write it all in English, which is the language of my father :)
I also intend to be as truthful and honest in all that I do and say.

Throughout Chapter 1 of 1 Nephi, Nephi briefly explains the events that Lehi experienced leading up to his major change of heart. Lehi was a righteous man, but I do believe that he had to be "converted" to the idea of being a prophet with the true power to cry repentance unto the people of Jerusalem. During my discussions with the missionaries, I had a powerful experience that spoke to my heart and sealed up a small portion of my testimony. This requires a small prelude.

Months before meeting with the Elders, I had a dream about the end of the world. I always had an irrational fear of the end and fearfully looked for signs in the weather and on the news, and my dream summed up my interpretation my fear and understanding.

As I looked out a window upon the valley of Las Vegas, I saw destruction all around. Buildings all over the valley were burning. People were shouting. Fear was upon us all. I looked up in the sky and saw two crecent moons, hanging in the sky next to each other, and, although it is not a scripture backed sign of the times, in my dream it was a prophecy from the Bible, and I knew it was the end of days. Instinctively, I knelt down to pray, but before I could utter a single word, or express a single thought, I was frozen; unable to reconcile my sins with the Lord. I had waited too long, and the despair I felt was unlike any other I had ever felt. I was filled with an unquenchable dread.

I woke up that morning with a sickening feeling that lasted throughout the day. My mind was often called back to remember the images of my dream, which only fed my fear of the end.

This was until I met with Elder Crowe and Elder Silva. I believe it was after the second discussion that I had another, very similar dream. It was filled with destruction and the two crecent moons appeared as well. The main distinction between the dreams is in what happened after I realized that it was the end. Instead of kneeling in a futile attempt to save my soul, I looked out the window, raised my arms, and a bright light flowed unto me with great joy.

When I woke up the next morning, I reflected on my dream and knew that the message that the missionaries had shared was true and solid. I don't remember doubting the truthfulness from that moment on. Sure, I have had to build understanding and testimony of the individual parts of the gospel, but I have never doubted whether or not it was the right choice to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

After joining the Church, I was on fire with zeal. I wanted nothing more than to share the gospel with others. I talked with each of my brothers, my parents, and my friends. Every assignment in college came back to a church theme for me. Every moment of my free time was devoted to learning more and more about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It got to the point that people were angry with me. I upset people by constantly discussing religion. Several of my family members actually told me to "back off". Lehi certainly upset people while declaring repentance unto them. I look back on my own life and see how that I lacked the communication skills necessary to invite people to listen. The Spirit will guide us, but will not do the work for us.

I wonder if Lehi was a great public speaker, or a bumbling old man on fire with the Spirit.