1 Nephi Chapter 2

I know, to some extent, what Lehi was feeling at the time. He was serving the Lord and doing everything he was supposed to, and people were angry with him. While I never had anyone try to take my life because I was sharing my beliefs with them, I have had several relationships severed by my choice to join the church.
My first real experience in pondering the greater mysteries of religion came when I was living with my grandma and grandpa in Whitefish, MT. I left Las Vegas to live with them for six months while my neighbor awaited trial for murder. During that time, I went to church every Sunday and attended several Christian Youth Retreats. I began to feel devoted in every thought and deed. It was something special that I shared with my grandma.
Well, after I decided to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I called her to tell her about the amazing things that had been shared with me. I called to earnestly tell her about the Good News that I had been blessed with. The conversation went a little something like this...

Grandma: Hello!
Me: Hey Grandma, it's Adam

Grandma: Oh! How are you dear?
Me: Great!

Grandma: What's going on?
Me: I wanted to call and tell you that I got baptized.

Grandma: Oh, that's wonderful!
Me: Yeah! I'm really happy!

Grandma: Into what church?
Me: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Grandma: Oh $#!+

This was followed by a good and awkward 30 seconds of silence. Now, I know 30 seconds doesn't seem like a long time, but imagine the situation for a minute.
After the silence she spent the better half of 10 minutes telling me why I was going to Hell.
I love my grandma, but believe me when I say, that no matter how much I wish it was, my relationship is not the same as it was when I was attending The Four Square Church.
In the course of my Church life, friends have also slowly faded into the background. Some couldn't stand to be around me, and others were hard to be around because our differences in lifestyles separated us. And while I never was asked to take my family and dwell in a tent, I was, essentially, asked to keep my distance from the world of which I was a part. I left behind many precious things.
After getting baptized, my taste for music changed quite a bit, but since I had nearly 200 cds that I had collected over several years of listening, I had a hard time getting rid of them. Many of them were filled with foul lyrics and immoral topics. Many of them were uplifting and good as well. I mostly listened to the uplifting ones, but still could not see a good way of getting rid of them. To give them to my brothers would just spread the corruption. If they weren't good enough for me, they weren't good enough for my family, right? Well, as I sat and sat on how to best handle my music situation, somebody stole my entire book of cds. ALL 200 of them! The Lord let me know that, even if I didn't know how, if my desire was to do right, He would help me, although there might be a slight cost to me. Oh, my precious things... I later discovered that my material possessions are not, in any sense, my precious things.
As Lehi built an altar, so did I devote my life to the Lord.
Despite my vain attempts to convert my brothers, and despite their vain attempts to get me to stop talking about religion, I was committed to having a heart to heart talk with each of them.
They were a stiffnecked bunch, and they certainly murmured against me, but the experience I had with my brother Shawn in particular was one of the most powerful manifestations of the Spirit to date.
I showed up to his house with my scriptures in hand. He opened the door and laughed at me. He said, "Look Bro, I think it's great what you're doing, but coming to talk with me is a waste of time. I will never be a Mormon".
I asked if I could talk with him anyway, so we talked.
I don't remember exactly what we talked about. I do remember talking to him about Steve Young who was one of his favorite football players, and also a descendent of Brigham Young. When that connection was made, I remember us both standing up, and I remember uttering words that I hadn't thought of on my own. It was as though words were being spoken through me. I remember the feeling all throughout my body and wondered exactly what was happening to me, but it wasn't until Shawn looked me in the eye and said, "Hey, do you feel that too?" that I fully started to understand what was happening. We were caught up in the Spirit together and my brother, almost instantly said, "I want to get baptized!". My parents came over to Shawn's house while this was all going on, and Shawn was trying to convert THEM to the Church. It was power that I had not experienced, and I was, unfortunately, still an infant in the Gospel. My brother, over the course of the next few weeks, was convinced that the Church wasn't right for him. The Great Deceiver had tangled him up in the webs again, and I didn't know how to get him back. I did learn, however, not to plan a secret raid with the missionaries and expect him to be happy about it. That, I learned the hard way.
Since then I have spent many of my moments of solitude, praying for my brethren and parents. I think about the joy that each of them could have if only they would turn their lives over to the Lord. I know that the biggest struggle for them is leaving behind their precious things. They cannot bare to think about the big "changes" that will follow the mighty change of heart. But I pour out my soul in an effort to bring them unto the knowledge of their Redeemer. I pray to know what it is that they need. What is that thing that will finally draw them unto the Lord? My search continues.

1 Nephi Chapter 1

I believe that my parents were, indeed, good parents. While that is slightly different than "goodly", the words are related. "Goodly" deals more with the impressions of someone, and I believe that my parents did not always make a good impression on the world.

Though at times they lacked the knowledge of how to best prepare us for our futures, they always loved us. I wasn't taught a lot at home. We were not the type of family to have deep discussions or study the bible together, but again, we loved each other. As far as I was concerned, I had goodly parents.

I certainly saw much affliction in my days. Times were hard, and growing up in the rougher part of town gave me a unique aspect on my situation. If I failed in life, many people would "understand" because of the circumstances of which I was given. I grew up around gangs, drugs, violence, and all sorts of police activity. I've witnessed SWAT team drug busts, and was actually subpeonaed to court to testify about a murder in my neighborhood. Fear was a part of my daily life, but the Lord must have found favor with me, because through it all, I always felt that He was there. I always felt as though he was watching me. I always felt that gravitational tug on my spirit. I wanted to know my Maker.

As I create this blog, I intend to write it all in English, which is the language of my father :)
I also intend to be as truthful and honest in all that I do and say.

Throughout Chapter 1 of 1 Nephi, Nephi briefly explains the events that Lehi experienced leading up to his major change of heart. Lehi was a righteous man, but I do believe that he had to be "converted" to the idea of being a prophet with the true power to cry repentance unto the people of Jerusalem. During my discussions with the missionaries, I had a powerful experience that spoke to my heart and sealed up a small portion of my testimony. This requires a small prelude.

Months before meeting with the Elders, I had a dream about the end of the world. I always had an irrational fear of the end and fearfully looked for signs in the weather and on the news, and my dream summed up my interpretation my fear and understanding.

As I looked out a window upon the valley of Las Vegas, I saw destruction all around. Buildings all over the valley were burning. People were shouting. Fear was upon us all. I looked up in the sky and saw two crecent moons, hanging in the sky next to each other, and, although it is not a scripture backed sign of the times, in my dream it was a prophecy from the Bible, and I knew it was the end of days. Instinctively, I knelt down to pray, but before I could utter a single word, or express a single thought, I was frozen; unable to reconcile my sins with the Lord. I had waited too long, and the despair I felt was unlike any other I had ever felt. I was filled with an unquenchable dread.

I woke up that morning with a sickening feeling that lasted throughout the day. My mind was often called back to remember the images of my dream, which only fed my fear of the end.

This was until I met with Elder Crowe and Elder Silva. I believe it was after the second discussion that I had another, very similar dream. It was filled with destruction and the two crecent moons appeared as well. The main distinction between the dreams is in what happened after I realized that it was the end. Instead of kneeling in a futile attempt to save my soul, I looked out the window, raised my arms, and a bright light flowed unto me with great joy.

When I woke up the next morning, I reflected on my dream and knew that the message that the missionaries had shared was true and solid. I don't remember doubting the truthfulness from that moment on. Sure, I have had to build understanding and testimony of the individual parts of the gospel, but I have never doubted whether or not it was the right choice to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

After joining the Church, I was on fire with zeal. I wanted nothing more than to share the gospel with others. I talked with each of my brothers, my parents, and my friends. Every assignment in college came back to a church theme for me. Every moment of my free time was devoted to learning more and more about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It got to the point that people were angry with me. I upset people by constantly discussing religion. Several of my family members actually told me to "back off". Lehi certainly upset people while declaring repentance unto them. I look back on my own life and see how that I lacked the communication skills necessary to invite people to listen. The Spirit will guide us, but will not do the work for us.

I wonder if Lehi was a great public speaker, or a bumbling old man on fire with the Spirit.